i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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