Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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