Christians are straight up FREAKS
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
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You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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