He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
