Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
