google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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