And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
