Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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