sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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