she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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