i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
