I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
