He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
