he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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