Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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