I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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