dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
