i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The best revenge is premature balding
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
