TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
