ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
