found the other keg... it's in the tree
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize