Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize