I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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