I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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