I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
