All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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