Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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