Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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