i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
