yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
