Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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