I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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