mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
