We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
