I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I sprained my soul last night
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
