Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize