Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
