So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
