Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
