Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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