I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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