Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
