dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
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The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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