we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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