I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
