quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
