In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
