This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
