spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
