He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
