let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just high enough for therapy.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
