Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
