He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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