Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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