So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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