Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
