hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
pray to the hookup gods
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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