i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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