I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
