Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is Oprah even human
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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