I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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