anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
