Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
