PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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