We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
